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 MULE RAFFLE ? 
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Wanee Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:43 pm
Posts: 9327
Location: Albany, NY
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
Some more funny pics:

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When In Doubt, Play Allmans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfhL3EyAIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm039Hw45aw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCQwv82 ... r_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBo_POKv21w


Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:00 pm Profile WWW
Wanee Demi-God
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Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 9:55 am
Posts: 10724
Location: New Bern, NC (Coastal NC)
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly,'So which six items would you like to buy?'

:lol:

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THE "VIPER DANCE" ............... Driving to wanee
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Tue Jan 19, 2010 5:52 pm Profile
Wanee Demi-God
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Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 9:55 am
Posts: 10724
Location: New Bern, NC (Coastal NC)
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain tithe baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.
They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
How ever, as the labor progressed, the husband felt Fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The Doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point, they decided to transfer 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
:shock:

_________________
Image ................................................................................... Image
THE "VIPER DANCE" ............... Driving to wanee
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THE "MRS. VIPER DANCE"


Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:51 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:43 pm
Posts: 9327
Location: Albany, NY
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a
while 'the lights would turn off.'

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of
a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'

'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just
long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they
applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'

'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender,'Would you like a
drink?'

'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.

'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on
that statue, the lights go out.'

'Now, how about that drink?'

_________________
When In Doubt, Play Allmans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfhL3EyAIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm039Hw45aw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCQwv82 ... r_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBo_POKv21w


Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:02 am Profile WWW
Wanee Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:43 pm
Posts: 9327
Location: Albany, NY
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

_________________
When In Doubt, Play Allmans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfhL3EyAIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm039Hw45aw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCQwv82 ... r_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBo_POKv21w


Sat Jan 23, 2010 5:26 pm Profile WWW
Wanee Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:43 pm
Posts: 9327
Location: Albany, NY
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
Shrinkage :lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
When In Doubt, Play Allmans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfhL3EyAIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm039Hw45aw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCQwv82 ... r_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBo_POKv21w


Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:30 pm Profile WWW
Wanee Demi-God
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Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 9:55 am
Posts: 10724
Location: New Bern, NC (Coastal NC)
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
:shock: :shock: :shock: :o :o :o 8-) 8-) :lol: :lol:

_________________
Image ................................................................................... Image
THE "VIPER DANCE" ............... Driving to wanee
Image
THE "MRS. VIPER DANCE"


Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:42 am Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:43 pm
Posts: 9327
Location: Albany, NY
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks delighted: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows! "Wow," says his friend, "what did the vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills'" said the farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked his friend. "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint." :lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
When In Doubt, Play Allmans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfhL3EyAIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm039Hw45aw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCQwv82 ... r_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBo_POKv21w


Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:22 pm Profile WWW
Wanee Lover
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Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:40 pm
Posts: 2090
Location: jax beach
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
Saw this somewhere yesterday

Come over to myspace and twitter my yahoo until I google on your facebook

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Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:56 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:43 pm
Posts: 9327
Location: Albany, NY
Post Re: MULE RAFFLE ?
There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said..

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted

_________________
When In Doubt, Play Allmans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfhL3EyAIk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm039Hw45aw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FCQwv82 ... r_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBo_POKv21w


Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:26 pm Profile WWW
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