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 DADDY’S DATING RULES 
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Wanee Master
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Post DADDY’S DATING RULES
I don't have any daughter's, but here is a list of rules a buddy of mine came up with;

For all you dads with just started dating daughters:
DADDY’S DATING RULES

1. RULE ONE: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you’d better be delivering a package because you are sure not picking anything up.

2. RULE TWO: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

3. RULE THREE: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your pants seam directly in place to your waist.

4. RULE FOUR: I am sure you have been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier Method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the “Barrier” and I will Kill you.

5. RULE FIVE: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need to hear from you is “early”.

6. RULE SIX: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

7. RULE SEVEN: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than one hour goes bye, do not sigh or fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her make up, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of standing there, why don’t you do something useful like change the oil in my car.

8. RULE EIGHT: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter. Places where there are beds, couches, or anything softer than a wooden stool; places where there is darkness; places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness; places where the temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, mid-riff tee shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka, zipped to her throat.

9. RULE NINE: Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are even better.

10. RULE TEN: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, middle aged, dim-witted has-been with a gimp knee. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing merciless, vengeful god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, your have only one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, shovel, tin snips and plenty of time. Do not trifle with me.

11. RULE ELEVEN: Be afraid, be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car with the sound of burglar trying to hurt me. Little voices in my head tell me frequently to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Yell the perimeter password (virgin), announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, and then return to your car, weaving in a serpentine fashion. There is no need for you to escort my daughter to the door or come inside. The camouflaged face in the window is mine.

OH YEAH, ENJOY YOUR DATE!


Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:12 am Profile
Wanee Wizard

Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:43 pm
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Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
I didn't have to make rules JBG... I just sat at the kitchen table cleaning my shotgun... :o :lol:

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Wed Jan 02, 2013 1:52 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
I'm glad that I had a Son I would hate to think of a daughter of mine dating someone like me. :shock:


Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:33 pm Profile
Wanee Master

Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:07 pm
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Location: Marianna, Florida
Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
Jensen B Gator wrote:
I would hate to think of a daughter of mine dating someone like me.


ME TOOOOOOOO!!!!! :o


Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:37 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
A good friend of mine was one of the biggest Hound dogs chasing the ladies, had daughters I used to kid him about a younger version of himself would soon be sniffin' around the door. :twisted:


Last edited by Jensen B Gator on Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:47 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Location: Thomasville, Ga
Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
This is serious talk right here!!

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Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:50 pm Profile
Wanee Wizard

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Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
djkeeb69 wrote:
This is serious talk right here!!


Listen up keeb!

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Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:16 pm Profile
Wanee Demi-God
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Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
I have 2 daughters.......I had a VERY simular set of rules....I keep them to this day. :twisted:

I ALMOST felt sorry for the 1st guy they brought home....ALMOST. ;)

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Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:17 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Location: Thomasville, Ga
Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
NCviper wrote:
I have 2 daughters.......I had a VERY simular set of rules....I keep them to this day. :twisted:

I ALMOST felt sorry for the 1st guy they brought home....ALMOST. ;)

You seen Bad Boys with Will Smith and Martin Lawerence?... imma play it just like they did!! haha

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Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:54 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Post Re: DADDY’S DATING RULES
Bad Keeb Bad Keeb
watcha gonna do watcha gonna do


Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:13 am Profile
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