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 Jokes 
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Wanee Master
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 6565
Post Re: Jokes
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'


Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:24 am Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:05 pm
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Post Re: Jokes
Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?


Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:25 am Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 6565
Post Re: Jokes
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'


Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:26 am Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 6565
Post Re: Jokes
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'


Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:26 am Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 6565
Post Re: Jokes
Let us pray......................
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk

Amen!!


Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:28 am Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:52 pm
Posts: 6032
Location: Brandon, Florida
Post Re: Jokes
A CEO, a Tea Party member, and a union worker are sitting at a table. On a plate on the table are a dozen cookies.

The CEO reaches out, grabs eleven cookies, turns to the Tea Party member, and says:

“Watch out for that union guy. He wants a piece of your cookie.”

_________________
"Bring the band on down behind me, boys." -- FZ

"Remember: music is a religion. You have to pray every day."
-- Jose' Luis "Cheo" Pardo, Los Amigos Invisibles


Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:54 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Post Re: Jokes
:shock:


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Sat Mar 09, 2013 2:22 pm Profile
Wanee Master
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Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:52 pm
Posts: 6032
Location: Brandon, Florida
Post Re: Jokes
OMG

WTF

_________________
"Bring the band on down behind me, boys." -- FZ

"Remember: music is a religion. You have to pray every day."
-- Jose' Luis "Cheo" Pardo, Los Amigos Invisibles


Sat Mar 09, 2013 2:40 pm Profile
Wanee Demi-God
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Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 9:55 am
Posts: 10683
Location: New Bern, NC (Coastal NC)
Post Re: Jokes
Jensen B Gator wrote:
:shock:

BaaaaaaHaaaaaaHaaaaaa!!!

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Sat Mar 09, 2013 5:56 pm Profile
Wanee Lover

Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2012 8:04 pm
Posts: 2098
Location: Palm Bay, FL
Post Re: Jokes
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
:roll: :roll: :roll:

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Judie

Following the shadows of the skies or are they only figments of my eyes?
And I'm feeling close to where the race is run
Waiting in our boats to set sail, sea of joy


Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:26 pm Profile
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